I'm giving ERFW yet another reboot. I didn't like where it was going, and I stopped posting a long time ago because of it. So that is that.
While I was going through this blog and resetting it, I realized that I am slowly transmogrifying into one of "those old people" who get pissed off at the internet. I absolutely loathe blogs/My Spaces/whathaveyous where the html is hacked the hell out of and looks like total crap. You know what I mean; a tiling black background image of some constellation, neon green comic sans text, and spinning skull-on-fire .gifs on either side of the page's title (appropriately made in cutting edge 3-D Word Art!). At the same time, though, I hate these generic preloaded layouts you can choose from. My mad programming skills left me years ago, and even if they hadn't, my last programming class was in 2003. That knowledge is as good as punch cards today. So unless someone out there wants to make me an awesome layout, we are all stuck looking at this fashionably generic green layout.
Some of you may read this as a blatant attempt to get some free programming service from somebody. That is probably because it is.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Hate Words Explained
When I was eight, I was being cynical at a seventh grade level. Now that I am twenty-five, I estimate my cynicism to rival that of an eighty year old. Hopefully the world will be ready for me by the time I am that old...
Since I was in junior high, I noticed that some words in the English language just rubbed me the wrong way. When I met my wife's family while we were dating, I discovered that I was not alone. Her family refers to these words as "hate words", and the title is very fitting. The list of these words is ever expanding, and to compile them all into a single volume in one sitting would be impossible (due both to the vast number of them as well as the vomiting that would inevitably occur after prolonged exposure- kind of like a heat stroke of sorts). Some of these words may look pretty in print, but I assure you, saying them out loud will turn each syllable into a nail being dragged against the chalkboard that is your tympanic membrane.
Parlor- A hate word classic. Beauty parlor, massage parlor, parlor game- these terms should all be banned. Sometimes it takes a while before you get why a hate word is a hate word. Say it a few times. Stretch it out. You'll get it.
Doily- Not only is this a hate word, but it might be classified as a "hate object" if there were such a thing. A definite two-fer.
Two-fer- The combination and relettering of the term "two for", already short for "two for one". As you can see, sometimes the best way to discover a hate word is to say it and then be extremely disappointed in yourself.
Snack (v.)- "I think I'll have a snack." Perfectly acceptable. "I think I'll snack on something". Absolutely not. Most nouns that can double as verbs also fall into this category.
Mauve- Not only is this word awkward to listen to in a sentence, it is awkward to say. Maaauuuve. I feel dirty just mouthing the word. Stop trying to sound superior to those of us who prefer "purple" or "violet", you pretentious jerk- you're just making everyone around you uncomfortable.
There is plenty of more to be discussed later. This is all I can handle after a chem lab final.
Since I was in junior high, I noticed that some words in the English language just rubbed me the wrong way. When I met my wife's family while we were dating, I discovered that I was not alone. Her family refers to these words as "hate words", and the title is very fitting. The list of these words is ever expanding, and to compile them all into a single volume in one sitting would be impossible (due both to the vast number of them as well as the vomiting that would inevitably occur after prolonged exposure- kind of like a heat stroke of sorts). Some of these words may look pretty in print, but I assure you, saying them out loud will turn each syllable into a nail being dragged against the chalkboard that is your tympanic membrane.
Parlor- A hate word classic. Beauty parlor, massage parlor, parlor game- these terms should all be banned. Sometimes it takes a while before you get why a hate word is a hate word. Say it a few times. Stretch it out. You'll get it.
Doily- Not only is this a hate word, but it might be classified as a "hate object" if there were such a thing. A definite two-fer.
Two-fer- The combination and relettering of the term "two for", already short for "two for one". As you can see, sometimes the best way to discover a hate word is to say it and then be extremely disappointed in yourself.
Snack (v.)- "I think I'll have a snack." Perfectly acceptable. "I think I'll snack on something". Absolutely not. Most nouns that can double as verbs also fall into this category.
Mauve- Not only is this word awkward to listen to in a sentence, it is awkward to say. Maaauuuve. I feel dirty just mouthing the word. Stop trying to sound superior to those of us who prefer "purple" or "violet", you pretentious jerk- you're just making everyone around you uncomfortable.
There is plenty of more to be discussed later. This is all I can handle after a chem lab final.
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