When I was eight, I was being cynical at a seventh grade level. Now that I am twenty-five, I estimate my cynicism to rival that of an eighty year old. Hopefully the world will be ready for me by the time I am that old...
Since I was in junior high, I noticed that some words in the English language just rubbed me the wrong way. When I met my wife's family while we were dating, I discovered that I was not alone. Her family refers to these words as "hate words", and the title is very fitting. The list of these words is ever expanding, and to compile them all into a single volume in one sitting would be impossible (due both to the vast number of them as well as the vomiting that would inevitably occur after prolonged exposure- kind of like a heat stroke of sorts). Some of these words may look pretty in print, but I assure you, saying them out loud will turn each syllable into a nail being dragged against the chalkboard that is your tympanic membrane.
Parlor- A hate word classic. Beauty parlor, massage parlor, parlor game- these terms should all be banned. Sometimes it takes a while before you get why a hate word is a hate word. Say it a few times. Stretch it out. You'll get it.
Doily- Not only is this a hate word, but it might be classified as a "hate object" if there were such a thing. A definite two-fer.
Two-fer- The combination and relettering of the term "two for", already short for "two for one". As you can see, sometimes the best way to discover a hate word is to say it and then be extremely disappointed in yourself.
Snack (v.)- "I think I'll have a snack." Perfectly acceptable. "I think I'll snack on something". Absolutely not. Most nouns that can double as verbs also fall into this category.
Mauve- Not only is this word awkward to listen to in a sentence, it is awkward to say. Maaauuuve. I feel dirty just mouthing the word. Stop trying to sound superior to those of us who prefer "purple" or "violet", you pretentious jerk- you're just making everyone around you uncomfortable.
There is plenty of more to be discussed later. This is all I can handle after a chem lab final.
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